ethan chan hin ching! this is not called "fat hao", it's what i prefer to call enjoying one of god's creation to the fullest. see? sounds way better this way. damn you. hahaha...

on a totally unrelated note, i smell of coconut candy courtesy of body shop body butter in coconut. very lovely smell... i smell good enough to eat. although my baby hates it cuz whenever i smother myself with it, i stick my hand inches away from his nose and demand "smell my hand. do i smell nice? do i? smell!!" haha...

it has been a long time since i have seen a guy and went 'shit! fuck! OMG!' and today i had the privilege to experience that long-lost feeling again. took one look at him and a double glance was definately needed. it was more like 'shit! fuck! bloody hot!' and drools. haha...

beckie should be very clear of my weakness for skater-punk guys who manages to look as if they don't give a flying fuck about anything in the world. how their baggy pants hang so loosely yet snug enough to not fall off, how their eyes have that i-know-i'm-cool-but-i-have-better-things-to-care-about look, how they pull off their out-of-bed hair, how their look so bloody hot with their hoodie pulled up, how they walk as if they world revolves around them... god, i could go on and on for days. 0.o

don't get me wrong, i still love my baby very very much but there is nothing wrong in having an eye candy. something that i learnt from nur and nish. but it's true. eye candy are just harmless fun. -grins.

new online game, new obsession...
at least the english name of this doesn't sound as downright stupid as my previous obsession, 魔力(crossgate). this time around this game is called 飛天(dream of mirror). although it does kinda proves that when people come out with online games in taiwan/china, they never bother to think of an english name that is not only catchy but logical!! not goin to put japan in that category even though they were the one who came up with crossgate cuz they bloody have final fantasy and that makes them GOD!!!! haha...

speaking of online games, this will mean i will prob be chatting lesser on msn unless you're beckie, chrys or dino! i always have time for the first 2 but the latter one... what can i say? haha!!! dino, dino.... i think i'm getting on his nerves too often!! haha... me still sayang you like my '妹妹', you know?? >3<

再見魔力，哈佬飛天!!

boy,魔魔,神神...
下次一定有機會再見ge~
唔係魔力見就hk見吧~^^
弓手完成樹海同解放,魔c 112lv,1lv艾8...
要做d野都做晒吧~
你地玩得開心d~+油唷!
最多掛住你地個時開魔力見返~cc

一齊飛天?

i miss my mom's cooking
i miss lounging in the living room watching mtv
i miss driving around when i'm bored
i miss out with my friends for drinks and movies
i miss arguing with jason on who should drive
i miss goin to chrys' house for mahjong
i miss picking up the phone, hearing chrys and dino's voice
i miss the sunday breakkie and dinner i have with my parents
i miss having to dodge my dog's sniffing whenever i reach home
i miss screaming at my dogs to come back home
i miss waiting for the postman and newspaper boy to arrive
i miss lying in my bed, refusing to wake up until my mom knocks
i miss shopping with my mom and having her pay
i miss the ice kacang at wishbone
i miss dad bringing me to buffet at hyatt
i miss opening the fridge, knowing mom has stocked up on junk
i miss the 0.1 cents sms compared to god knows how much here
i miss the cheap and authentic food
i miss the smell of home...


i don't miss the heat
i don't miss the illegal immigrants
i don't miss the dogs howling when i'm just about to fall asleep
i don't miss not having red rock deli chips and subway for snack
i don't miss the unfriendly salespeople who tail you like a dog
i don't miss the terrible shopping kk has to offer
i don't miss the fake smile i have to put on when meeting friends
i don't miss my 56k internet connection
i don't miss not being able to go out at 5am
i don't miss not being able to come back at 5am
i don't miss the boring day and night life
i don't miss the censorship on tv, radio and the movies
i don't miss having to report to my mom where i'm goin
i don't miss not having the freedom i have in melb...

i can't seem to let go off things. i hold onto all memories dearly and stubbornly refuse to forget them. forgive and forget, that phrase does not exist in my dictionary. forgive, i might but forget, i never.

it can be a good thing but in the long run, i guess it could be unwise of me to do so. with memories that brings smile to my face, i hope to cherish them forever. with past hurt and pain, i wish to push them away from my mind, never remembering about them. and that is why i have a problem.

revenge might be sweet but dwelling on it will screw you up bad.

not forgetting little things like my dislike for saying goodbye because i can't let go. i never liked goodbyes. there is an air of finality about them. i like having something to look forward too.

i'm don't like leaving a country when i'm there on vacation, i don't like saying goodbye to my friends when we graduate and i don't like selling my crossgate account just because i don't wanna play anymore.

i don't like all of them because i know the story ends there and then and there's no more room for a sequel.

i can't let all these things go. i like having them nearby to be able to glance at them, to know that they are still there even if they were things as trivial as a picture or price tag.

maybe that explains why i have so much rubbish at home. 0.o

all these just because i can't let go, can't bear to cast away inanimate things and thoughts but perfectly capable of moving on from relationships as if a wave has just wash it all away.

weird minds work in weird ways.

my baby seems to have great taste in girl's clothes. (i'm not trying to boast here. hehe) went to the surf dive and ski shop in qv and 2 sale girls compliment me on the stussy knit sweater(that my baby told me to by)that i was wearing. and i got complimented before when wearing it. so now whenever i buy clothes, i ask him "is this nice?" and "do you like it?"

speaking of that 2 salegirls, one of them was soooooooo friendly. while waiting for joein's friend to try on clothes, she came up to me and started talking to me about pocahontas. a while later she came back and we had a conversation that revolved around house of wax and sin city. then at flinder's st station, someone called out to me and what do you know, it was that salesgirl again. started to talk about clubbing with her. hahaha... such coincidence. my baby said i should have ask for her number. guys... - -"

anyway, i finally succumbed and bought harry potter and the half-blood prince. no spoilers please!!!! not done reading it yet. for the first time since i bought a book and i'm trying to take my time. no rush.

why you might ask?
(i finished the previous HP book in less than 7 hours and in that 7 hours i was in school for 5 hours. cue a lot of sneak reading in classes and speed reading during breaks. ^^v)

the answer is........

cuz it cost me $34 for that bloody book. there is no way in this world that i'm goin to waste my $34=RM102 in less than a day!!!! i'm going to wring every bit of that RM102 out of that book even if it kills me doin it. call me cheapskate, i don't care!! haha...

baby's at crown with joein and his friends. poor me has to stay at home cuz i finish lectures only at 8pm. -cries. but it's ok,i get to save money. but baby just told me that joein won over 90 dollars on the slot machines. lucky bastard.

anyway, my law in society lecturer left me speechless today. me and brian was in class when this girl in semi-punk style dressing(skinny straight leg black jeans + rock star belt + black sleevelss sweater + white collared-shirt), blonde hair with black streaks all gel up(reminiscnet of wyn's hair)with the right front side of her head shaved walked in. then we saw that in her hands were the reading guides and notes and both of us went "OMG!!! she's our lecturer??"

she's so cool.... haha... and i didn't fall asleep in lecture!

but the time seriously sucks. 6-8pm and 6-7pm. terrible!!!!

first day of sem 2!!!! met a new friend, qilla. she seems quite cool. 0.o

joein and his hk/tawainese(?) friend is staying over at our house for 6 days. spring cleaned my house just for them. gave them one of my blankie too. at least the house will be merrier now. too bad they came at a bad time i.e first week of school. should only be able to bring them around melb on thurs.

off to watch more movies on joein's laptop! catching up on those hk movies that i have missed including the really crappy one starring fiona and i'm-jacky-chan's-son-so-i-am-an-actor/singer/model. terrible movie,i tell you.

1 credit, 2 pass and.....................................

1 NS!!!!

N=fail, S=supplementary exam granted

∴ NS=failed but with supplementary exam granted!!!

supp exams in january!!! prob means i have to cut short my holiday to come back here. at least i have angel and bryan taking the supp exam too. did everyone i know failed crim law? seriously, it seems everyone i asked is taking that supp exam.

can you believe my credit is for contract law? my worst and most hated law subject. when i told mom, she was like "what? contract law? i thought it was your worst subject!" beats me... - -"

school's starting on monday!!! -sighs. no more sleeping, eating and gaming all day. hope i'm able to wake up for classes. 0.o

my timetable is a messier mess. haha... itchy hands toyed with it and i'm back to where i was. lectures on mon - wed with classes all crammed together. not really though, i start school at an average of 12pm everyday. haha!

i'm nervous and i'm scared.
i'm worried about you. even though it's not a big deal, but it's still something not out the ordinary. i guess it proves to me something i have been in denial about...

i do care for you.

my timetable is a mess. i have classes on tuesday to friday just cuz i'm being stubborn for wanting kwame for contract. that's cuz he's good, he gives all the notes before lectures and i don't have to bother copying anything down. but by choosing him, i still have my tues and wed 6-7.30pm lectures!! wtf!! can't he choose another time?? if i didn't choose him, i can have classes on mon - wed only. however, it will be crammed and i have to attend lectures with lecturers i don't know and also i finish class on 8pm on tuesday. been weighing the pros and cons for an hour or so before settling on kwame and therefore 4 days of lectures. -sigh... i hate the timetable!!

and before i forget, my dear friend who's goin to be hospitalized soon for a minor surgery, i wish you the best of luck and get well soon!!!! will be thinking about you the whole time. hope that you know that if i was there, i would definately be by your side the whole time. ^^

there was a time long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away when i listened to boy bands. GASP!!!! how horrifying!!! yes, i admit it. >< i, nikki kah, used to listen to backstreet boys, n'sync and what not. embarassing but true.

i still remember goin to jien's house with beckie and watch mtv in hope of catching a glimpse of backstreet boys. haha! it was a blast actually. i remember doin lots of stupid things in jien's house. including watch species and that movie with neve campbell and denise richards. was what it called? we couldn't stop laughing during the sex scenes. 0.o
anyway, back to the point...

all these served to haunt me now. haha! but then i was save from the immortal sin of idolizing boy bands and being banished to boy band hell where i would be force to hear boy bands sing their hits over and over again and i have to scream their names and faint every milliseconds when they glance over at my direction.

who was my saviour, you ask? fear not, it's the punk/brit rock bandwagon!!! i was a bit slow to realize it was roaring past me but i was luckily quick enough to hitch a ride on it. and yes, i have decided to make that bandwagon my permanent home!!

it was the year 1997 when blur came out with their self-titled album with the 2 singles that will always be my fav songs' list, beetlebum and song 2. totally bowled me over and change my whole perspective on the music industry. boy bands? to hell with 'em!! i wanna be a punk chick! haha!!

from the loud noisy rockers (korn, deftones, nine inch nails) to the punk HOT rockers (blink 182 [travis!! marry me!! haha!] , green day, foo fighters) to the mellower emo dudes (jimmy eat world, dashboard confessionals, the starting line), i love them all!

THANK GOD for them!!!

p/s blink 182 fans!! go check out motion city soundtrack's 2nd album commit this to memory, produced by mark hoppus. great stuff!!

was browsing through my links when i stumbled onto mei yin's deviantart site. she is incredible! went clicking around her site and found another deviantart site. WOW!!! i wish i had her talents. i love her prints so much that one of it is my desktop wallpaper now. go browse around if you guys have the time. really worth taking a look.

finally gotten my work visa done with. took just one day for them to approve it, just like what they said on the website. haven't told my dad that i used the credit card to apply for it though.

made mango jelly again!! i'm fattening myself!! ><~

i have a love-hate relationship (love-hate relationship not given its' literal meaning here, just metaphorically speaking only) with him. no, not my baby. 魔魔!! one minute, that bastard annoys me so much and the next minute, he comes to me cuz he's piss of with someone. then we start bitching about that someone. 臭boy is another person where we can't decide whether we wanna be nice to each other or just piss one another off. we tk(team kill) for fun so much that it's a norm now. but they are still my buddies. >3<
the 3 of us + my baby = 魔鬼櫻丫希(fcuk!) haha...

see that little banner on the left hand side corner near the bottom? click on it and go sign the petition to reduce poverty. it's for a good cause. spare a thought for the poor, won't you? ^^

can you believe that i just woke up? - -" my sleeping pattern is screwed up. didn't sleep a wink last night till 1pm today. woke up at 7pm for korean bbq at clayton. yum! haha! then came back home and slept until now!!! and i thought karen was over the top. now i'm like her. haha... even 臭boy was saying that i'm messed up and when school start i will have a very big problem. no kidding. - -"

me wanna eat chocholate!!! so so so addicted to chocolate after the max brennar visit with ethan and bec. i can live on chocolate, i tell you. breakfast, lunch and dinner of chocolate will be heaven to me. then i will be a big fat piggy so that's out of the question! vain, i can't help it!! haha...

speaking of chocolate, snickers and mars bars were all recalled due to contamination in vic a few days ago! so be careful ar! no snickers and mars till it's safe to consume them.

i want chocolate!! bec, how was the chocolate that you bought for your boyboy? nice? so expensive but so exquisite! haha... i'm so dragging baby to the city for chocolate this weekend. any chocolate is fine with me. cadbury, darrel lea, lindt's, hershey's, WHATEVER! as long as it's chocolate and edible!

charlie and the chocolate factory!!! haha... i'm beginning to be stupid. i don't like that story at all but i love the chocolate factory. imagine rows and rows of tress made from candy and a river flowing with chocolate. sigh........ paradise~ haha! and i think johnny depp is hot! so out of the point. -grins

i think i should stop my rambling. making myself crave for it more. 0.o

try the piggy personality test here. taken from wyn's site.

don't laugh at my pig yar! i know my drawing sucks!

i guess i'm lucky to have friends that have stayed with me all these years. i used to be quite finicky when it comes to choosing my best friends. i wasn't the type who would make the first move. but once the awkward first introduction is over, i open up and let everything out.

in primary school, i changed best friends every year. i guess you could say it was a case of familarity breeding contempt. but it was in my primary school years that i made 2 best friends that continue to be the 2 persons that i trust most even though we are not what you call "best friends" now. we have our own group of friends, we don't hang out all the time but when we meet up, we still have lots and lots to talk about without any awkward silences in between. it's the bond that we have before that makes everything so easy to fit into place whenever we are together.

in my high school years, i made more friends that i'm still stuck with now, in a good way. we gossip together, we go out together when i'm back in kk and we know what each other are up to. we might have our differences and piss each other off at times, but in the end, we still forgive and forget. they keep me grounded and sane when i start to think that i'm alone in this world.

last year, i met the wildest bunch of friends i could ever have. i had the best time with them and we did the stupidest and outrageous things. when we were together, we stuck together and no one could hurt any of us. it's sad that we have all gone our own ways but i still love them to bits.

then there is my baby, my best friend in the whole wide world. i let my guard down when i'm with him and i trust him with all my heart. we have been through so much together that it feels weird when he's not around. he knows what i'm thinking even when i don't say it out. he knows what makes me happy and what pisses me off. i guess you could say i'm content with the way things are.

come to think of it, there are still 2 persons who brighten up my day like never before. they make me laugh all the time, they are willing to go all the way to help me when i need help and they are my gossip and bitching partners. the purity of our friendship is the simplicity of it. there's nothing that we ask for from each other but it's the things we give that surpass it all.

they are not all perfect but they all are like little jigsaw pieces that complete my life. ^^

watched war of the worlds and spent more money today. whooopee! - -" what a bloody productive holiday. i swear, i'm goin to go broke before this holiday ends. should have went back to kk and save myself some money.

me still wanna buy a number of things eg
1. tsubi grey lean bean jeans
2. lv keppall cherise (spell?)
3. the kinki gerlinki sweater i saw on ebay
4. one teaspoon's pleated mini

war of the worlds was good. the theory was a bit unexpected but it was great. (SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!) however, i would love to know how robbie managed to not die when almost everyone at the farmhouse was either dead/caught. - -" not complaining though, he's quite cute. 0.o haha!

me having weird dreams lately. involving a few people that i shouldn't be dreaming about considering that i have only met them a few times/never met them. very confusing. it's a bit weird dreaming about someone and seeing their face in the dream when you have never seen them before in person. it just gives you a new perspective of that person that is probably not right to begin with.

but i do admit i have been enjoying my sleep to the max. sleep at 5am, wake up at 6pm almost everyday. told baby that it has been quite some time since i have seen sunlight. - -" he's worse though. he sleeps at 5am and wakes up at 10-ish. where does he get his energy?!??!